


Notes

by Asexual_Ravioli



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drug Use, Drugs, Fluff, High School, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marijuana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:31:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asexual_Ravioli/pseuds/Asexual_Ravioli
Summary: Erwin Smith is a straight A student, a senior on the fast track to college. His worldview changes once he starts receiving notes from a mysterious punk in the back of the classroom.





	1. Are You Boring?

Erwin was a good student, one of the best in his high school. But this was the third time he had jerked his head up and opened his eyes in bewilderment. He couldn’t help nodding off: Mr. Zackley’s ancient world history class was hellishly dull, the teacher’s droning voice bouncing off the disinterested students.

Someone tapped Erwin on the back. Petra Ral, the pretty red-headed cheerleader. “From Levi,” she mouthed and handed him a small slip of paper.

 _Levi,_ he thought. He knew that name, though it took him a moment to place it on the ink-haired, pierced, and heavily tattooed punk who sat in the back of the class. Erwin, a front row student, had never interacted with Levi In all four years they’d shared the same school.

But now…

“Are your eyebrows too heavy to keep your eyes open?” the note said.

Erwin stifled a laugh. The teacher glanced away from his Powerpoint but didn’t say anything.

Erwin wrote back. “They are a heavy burden, yes.”

It wasn’t long before another note was ferried up to him.

“Are you boring?” the note asked.

Erwin didn’t know how to respond. He wrote back, “What do you mean?”

When the note reached Levi, Erwin heard him scoff. Erwin smiled.

The note came back to him a few minutes later. There was a lot more written this time.

“I mean do you have a stick up your ass? Varsity tennis player, perfect hair, straight A suckup. You have to be boring.”

Erwin shook his head and wrote, “You think my hair is perfect? :)”

A moment later the next note came. “No. Have you ever even been to a party?”

“Are you inviting me to a party?” Erwin asked.

He waited a long, long time for Levi’s response which simply said, “Yes.”


	2. What Your Father Tells You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party...

Erwin stood in front of his mirror. “You never know what’s going to happen,” he told himself, “but just say ‘no.’” He felt like an idiot having to do this, but he really didn’t want to underage drink, or worse, do drugs. There was a knock on his door. His father.

“Erwin, be home by midnight, okay?”

“Of course.”

“I can’t understand why you’d have a party on a Wednesday night.”

“I don’t really get it either,” Erwin admitted, “but my friend invited me so…”

It was weird to think of Levi as his friend, but what else could he be? They weren’t strangers anymore. When he pulled up to Levi’s house there were no other cars in the driveway, but the music was already blaring loudly. Erwin wondered how Levi’s neighbors would feel. Not that Levi would care.

He knocked on the door. Almost immediately it was opened sharply, Levi glaring out.

“God, Erwin,” he said. “Haven’t you ever heard of being fashionably late?”

“Oh,” Erwin said. “Sorry.”

“Pfft,” Levi said and led him into the living room. “Party virgin.” He glanced back. “Or…actual.”

“W-what?” Erwin stammered.

“Forget it,” Levi said. “Come on, I’ll put your coat in my room.” They walked over to a closed door down the hall. Erwin really wanted to see Levi’s room, but Levi opened the door a couple of inches and threw the coat inside without ceremony.

They went back to the living room. “What music do you like?” Levi flopped down on his couch.

“I dunno,” Erwin said and took in his surroundings. It was a small one story house, but the couch was black leather and the television and sound system were top of the line.

“You don’t know?”

“Well…” Erwin didn’t want to admit that all he was listening to lately was ABBA. He doubted that Levi knew all the words to “Dancing Queen.”

“Black Sabbath?” Levi asked.

“Sure.”

Levi snorted and pulled a CD from the cabinet under the sound system. _Black Sabbath’s Greatest Hits._ Levi put the disc in the stereo. “Iron Man” began playing.

“I heard this in a movie,” Erwin said.

“Yeah,” Levi said. “’Iron Man’ in _Iron Man_.” Erwin thought he saw a hint of a smile on Levi’s face. “The drum solo is sick. You gotta—“

There was a knock on the door. Levi let in a tall boy and a short girl. Erwin recognized the guy as Mike, a rumored drug dealer, and a girl whose name he didn’t know, but he always saw her smoking outside the gym.

“Mike and Nanaba,” Levi said. “This is Erwin.”

“Hey,” the two of them said in unison. Mike went over to the sound system, and Nanaba lit up a cigarette.

Levi went into the kitchen and yelled out, “You guys want anything to drink?”

“You got Guinness?” Mike asked.

“Always,” Levi replied. “Erwin?”

“Uh, just water, thanks,” he said nervously. To his surprise nobody said anything, laughed at him, or gave him any weird looks. Nanaba also refused any drinks. Levi came back in with two Guinnesses, one for himself, one for Mike, and a glass of water.

“Who else is coming?” Erwin asked.

Levi took a pull of his Guinness. There was a howl of laughter outside the front door. Levi sighed, Mike and Nanaba laughed, and Erwin stood there very confused. Without knocking, the laugher burst in. It was a girl in glasses with wild brown hair. She held two cases of PBR.

“God, Hanji, are you already—“ His words were muffled by her embrace. Erwin could see Levi trying to push her away. “Fuck!”

When Hanji let him go, she looked over at Erwin. “Is this the fresh meat?”

“Um…” Erwin said.

Levi shook his head. “Don’t objectify our guest. Are these PBRs for you or are you sharing this time?” Levi said sternly.

Hanji sighed. “I guess I could give away a few…”

Throughout the night they played card games and talked, and Erwin saw both Levi and Mike drink a considerable amount of beer. They seemed no worse for the wear, however. And Erwin noticed something: as the hours wore on, Levi was staring at Erwin more and more, just sitting, observing silently. Erwin didn’t know what to make of it.

When it was almost midnight, there were more knocks on the door. Some underclassmen, four of them, and even one of the Spanish teacher’s sons. Mike and Nanaba were making out, and Levi was distracted by his new guests. Erwin took the moment to slip into Levi’s room.

He found the light switch and looked around. It was a small room, orange walls, small blue bed, Black Sabbath and some movie posters covering the walls. Erwin picked up his coat and walked over to the wooden desk in the corner. Math books, well worn, were stacked in two tall piles. Advanced calculus. Erwin saw a notebook riddled with neatly written formulas.

“What are you doing?” Levi asked from where he leaned on the doorway.

Erwin nearly jumped. “Oh, I was just getting my coat. My father told me to be home by midnight.”

“Well, you’ve got it.”

“Uh, sorry.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He closed the distance between them. “You have a curfew?”

“Yeah,” Erwin said. “My dad—“

Levi stood on his tiptoes, leaning into Erwin, grabbed onto his arms, and planted a lasting kiss on Erwin’s lips. “You always do what your father tells you to?”


	3. Icarus

“Sorry,” Levi said, pulling away. “I’m a little drunk.”

“Oh,” Erwin said, in shock. He didn’t really know what was happening or how he felt about it. “Okay.”

“A little very drunk. Actually.”

“Oh,” Erwin said again. He was coming back down now. On the outside, he portrayed perfect calm. On the inside his blood was rushing so fast that his head was spinning. Despite the panic, he felt something more: butterflies fluttering madly in his stomach.

“Do you hate me?” Levi asked. His hands were thrust into his pockets. He was looking away.

Erwin blinked. “…No,” he said. “Not at all.”

“Okay then. Are you really leaving now?” He gestured to Erwin’s coat which he had dropped during the kiss.

“No,” Erwin said. “I don’t think so.” He smiled then. Levi did too.

“Let’s get back to it then.” Levi turned out the light, and they headed back to the party.

Everyone was sitting on the floor in a circle, playing truth or dare. Erwin and Levi squeezed in and sat next to each other. Erwin was giddy about Levi’s proximity to him, giddy and confused.

Levi introduced him to the underclassmen. There was Eren, a hotheaded freshman who was dared to lick the bottom of his own shoe; Mikasa, a gorgeous, quiet girl in a red scarf; Armin, a timid blonde whose intelligence Erwin had heard rumors about; Jean, the one who gave Eren the shoe-licking dare; and then Marco, the Spanish teacher’s son.

Hanji was next in line. “TRUTH,” she said ecstatically.

“Why are you so fucking loud?” Levi asked.

“TO HIDE MY INSECURITIES,” she yelled and fell back in a giggling mess.

“A train wreck,” Levi muttered.

Jean was next. “Dare me,” he said with a cocky smile.

“Lick my ass, Kirschstein,” Eren said without thinking. “Wait, no.”

“KISS EREN,” Hanji yelled.

“Fuck,” Jean said, and Eren tackled him to the ground and basically began licking Jean’s tightly closed mouth. The crowd began to chant, “No het-er-o! No het-er-o!” Jean eventually wiggled out of Eren’s grasp. He looked shaken and didn’t speak for a long time.

“Erwin’s next,” someone said.

“Truth."

Levi turned to him. “Did you enjoy it?”

At first he thought Levi was talking about Jean’s forced kiss, but then he saw the smirk on Levi’s face. His mind trailed back to his nerves and panic, to his elation and surprise, Levi’s mouth hot on his.

“Yes,” Erwin said. He did so without time for second thoughts. He didn’t want to back out. He looked away from Levi, blushing.

“My turn,” he heard Levi say. “Truth.”

Erwin realized the opportunity Levi had given him. “Why did you do it?” he heard himself say.

Levi thought for a moment then said, “I guess I wanted to see how close I could fly to the sun.”

The answer gave Erwin pause. Did Levi really think Erwin was capable of hurting him? How could he be the sun? How could…The game moved on to Mike being dared to chug a whole Guinness, which he happily accepted. Erwin became more and more lost in his own thoughts. Then he felt a hand touch his. Levi’s hand, small on his own. Levi was looking toward Mike, but there was a flicker of a smile on his face. Erwin decided that he could relax. This was a strange new world he had entered, but he was not unwilling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a bit of a time crunch when I wrote this. Hope it works okay.


	4. To Rebel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consequences happen.

Erwin knew he was screwed. It was 3:30 in the morning, and he could see the lights on in his living room. He got out of his car and stepped into the freezing air. His breath came out quickly in white plumes. He got to the door and inserted his key, paused for a moment. He wasn’t sure what laid in wait for him on the other side of this door. If his father had fallen asleep in his chair he could sneak past him, delay the inevitable…

He opened the door. His father sat in his favorite chair and set his book aside. “Erwin,” he said. “Welcome home.”

Erwin swallowed. “I’m sorry. I—“

“I’m not especially interested in what you have to say. This isn’t like you, Erwin. Needless to say, you’re grounded. We’ll discuss what that means later.”

“Okay.” Erwin felt queasy. The last time he had disappointed his father he was ten and had mercy-killed a squirrel. The dead animal under his shoe, his father running out the house, having seen everything, insisting the poor thing was only stunned…

Erwin climbed the stairs to his room. He took off his coat and threw himself onto his bed. He had promised himself that he’d get home at midnight and study for his French test that he had in the morning. He thought of Levi, that kiss, and the kiss they missed between them as Erwin left. _I have to study,_ he thought. He tried to get up, but he didn’t move. _Levi’s lip piercing, cold against my own lips. The piercings on his ears. Brush my hand against…_ His thoughts became fuzzy. He realized he was losing himself to sleep, and he didn’t care, if he got to dream about Levi…

 

Erwin woke up late. He dressed quickly, knowing he’d be late for first period. French class… He hadn’t studied at all. He passed by the kitchen where his father was eating breakfast.

“You’ll be late,” his father said.

“I know,” Erwin said, and that was the end of that.

He arrived about ten minutes late. Everyone was hunched over their tests. His teacher gave him a disparaging look. He took the test, missing most everything related to vocabulary. He also wasn’t too sure about the grammar or anything else, really. It was a weird feeling, finishing early, not because he breezed through it as usual, but because he didn’t know what he was doing. He would probably get a C, or maybe even a D.

He had time now, and his mind drifted to Levi. They stood, last night, on Levi’s porch. Levi didn’t wear a coat. He hugged his arms around himself.

“So,” Levi said. “That was fun.”

Erwin laughed. “Yeah. It was.”

Levi made a move toward him, but then the door opened. Nanaba stepped out. She looked at the two of them, not certain of what she was interrupting. “Levi, Mike wants to know if there’s anymore Guinness?”

Levi sighed. “I dunno. If his drunk ass drank enough, then it’s all gone.”

“Also,” Nananba said, “Hanji got dared to jump off the roof, and I think she’s gonna do it.”

A laughing howl from Hanji inside confirmed this.

“Like hell she will,” Levi said and begin to walk inside. Then he remembered Erwin and turned to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Looks like I have to babysit.”

“Sure,” Erwin said with a smile, though he didn’t feel happy at all.

 

Now he waited. He would see Levi in history, 5th period, and they also had lunch together before that, though he was sure they wouldn’t sit together.

When lunchtime came around, Erwin sat with Nile, his tennis partner. He guessed he’d consider him a friend, but the truth was that Erwin didn’t really feel close to anyone. He could turn on the charm when he wanted, but in the end, everyone remained an acquaintance in his mind. This would hurt some to know, so he kept it to himself. He just didn’t find anyone interesting or stimulating. Not until…

“What are you staring off at?” Nile said, pointing his fork at Erwin.

“Nothing,” he said. “I just feel really off today.”

“You’ve barely touched your food. What are you hung over from last night?”

“I don’t drink,” Erwin said flatly. He was beginning to regret telling Nile about the party.

“Why are you hanging out with freaks like that?” Nile said, gesturing to Levi’s table. Hanji was there, and so were Nanaba and Mike. Hanji had her head on the table, obviously feeling the effects of last night. Erwin smiled.

“I don’t know,” he said. “They’re cool.”

“You shouldn’t be hanging out with them,” Nile said. “That guy? Levi? He got arrested for punching a cop last year.”

“Oh,” Erwin said. “I didn’t know that.” It didn’t change how he felt about Levi, but he wouldn’t be telling Nile that.

“Yeah,” Nile said. “Exactly.”

 

5th period came around, and Erwin was disappointed to see that the seats around Levi were taken. Levi arched an eyebrow at him, and Erwin waved. He would sit in the front again, he guessed. Mr. Zackley started talking. It wasn’t long until the first note reached Erwin. “Don’t fall asleep on me today.”

“No promises,” Erwin wrote back. “Also I’m grounded thanks to you. I’m still deciding whether or not it was worth it.”

“You know it was,” Levi wrote back. His handwriting was so neat and clean. Erwin was reminded of the math notes he saw last night.

He thought about what he’d write next. “Yeah, it was,” he wrote. “So you like math?” he wrote after that. He was formulating a plan.

“Math is bae,” Levi wrote.

Erwin hesitated before he began to respond. “I’m in AP calc now. It’s hell. Tutor me?” It was partially true. AP calc sucked, and he had to study a lot, but he had a good grasp on the material.

“Sure, princess,” Levi wrote.

“Princess?” Erwin wrote.

“Nickname pending.”

“Okay, darling.”

“I swear to fuck if anyone else reads these…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Erwin wrote. “I don’t care what they think.”

“I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“What?”

“To rebel,” Levi wrote back.

“It’s been interesting. I don’t think my father would like you.”

Erwin never got Levi’s response. They had been slow in sending their notes, waiting for Zackley to turn away to the board, and then the class was over. Levi left before Erwin could say goodbye.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing this and getting all your comments. Thanks for reading! :3c


	5. Tutored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No math occurred in this chapter.

Erwin had somehow gotten through the day. Seven periods, the last one gym. They had played dodgeball, and he had faced off with Mike. Erwin’s team won, though he chalked it up to Mike’s probable hangover. The guy was intimidating in size and strength. They were exchanging numbers at Erwin’s locker when Levi appeared.

“Hey,” he said. “Tutoring today?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Erwin couldn’t contain how fast his heart was beating or the slight blush he was sure was showing on his cheeks.

Mike, perhaps sensing something in the air, said his goodbyes and left.

“But the thing is…” Erwin began. He saw the faintest look of displeasure in Levi, the smallest twitch of his eyebrows, pulling down. “I’m grounded. I have to go home right away.”

“Is that all?” Levi asked. “Then I’ll come over. Your father won’t be so disappointed if you’re getting math help.” This statement’s overtones were not lost on Erwin.

“Levi, I’m--”

“Let’s go,” Levi said, leading the way.

 

It turned out that Levi didn’t have a car, so they rode in Erwin’s. Levi kicked at the trash on the floor of the passenger seat. “Disgusting,” he mumbled.

“I might have known,” Erwin said with a smile. “Everything about you is so clean.”

Levi smiled back. “Thanks.”

They arrived at Erwin’s house. His father’s car was in the driveway. Erwin hesitated in getting out.

“Problem?” Levi said.

“No. No problem,” Erwin assured him.

When they entered the house, his father called out from the dining room where he was grading papers. “Erwin, for dinner tonight, how about I—“ He stopped when he saw Levi.

“Dad, this is my friend Levi. He’s tutoring me in calc.”

“Levi…” he said. “How was your party?”

Erwin stiffened. He’d forgotten that he’d told him Levi’s name in relation to the party.

“Oh,” Levi said laughing sheepishly. “Sorry about that. It was good, but I know it went on a bit long. And I’m afraid I detained Erwin. It was sort of my fault. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, sir.” He held out his hand to Erwin’s father. Erwin watched with surprise and suspicion.

“It’s alright,” his father said, noticeably warming to Levi’s charm. “So you like math? I almost went into theoretical mathematics myself, but I switched to literature.”

“That’s quite a change,” Levi said.

“Yes, it is,” Erwin’s father said with a laugh. “Well, I won’t keep you two any longer. Nice meeting you, Levi.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Levi said, smiling.

They went up to Erwin’s room, Erwin in a daze from Levi’s politeness. “What the fuck was that?” he asked as Levi threw himself onto Erwin’s bed.

“That was my method of survival. You can’t get by with as many piercings as I have without being charming as fuck,” Levi said. “On occasion,” he added.

Levi was on his back, staring at the ceiling. Erwin took the time to study his profile. On that slim, porcelain side of Levi’s face he could count seven piercings, most of them in his ear. Levi noticed him staring, and glanced at him.

“So,” Erwin said. “About calc.”

Levi snorted. “You don’t need help with calc.”

Erwin started to protest but stopped himself.

“And your dad likes me,” Levi said defiantly.

“That really bothered you, huh?”

“Yeah. It fucking did. You know I don’t get off on people not liking me. Because of how I look. Or what I do on Wednesday nights.” Levi sat up and looked around Erwin’s room. His eyes fell on Erwin’s sketchbook lying on the floor.

“You draw?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Erwin said. “A little.”

Levi picked up the sketchbook. “Can I?”

“Sure.”

Levi flipped through it, evidently not caring about the charcoal getting on his hands. He stopped at a drawing of a woman in profile.

“That’s my mother,” Erwin said softly. “She died when I was born.”

Levi nodded, not taking his eyes off the page. Erwin was comforted that Levi didn’t feel the need to apologize. It always felt like pity to him.

“I live with my uncle,” Levi said.

“Yeah.” Erwin didn’t press him.

Levi brought the sketchbook over to the bed and sat down crosslegged. “Will you do me?” he asked.

“Draw you?” Erwin said, surprised.

“Yeah,” he said. Only now did he rub his hands to get rid of the charcoal.

“Okay,” Erwin said. “But I’m using pen.”

“Okay.”

They sat on the bed facing each other. Levi kept trying to peer over the top of the sketchbook, but Erwin stopped him from seeing. He drew the hard angles of Levi’s brows, and the soft swoop of his cheek. He had a chance now to stare at Levi as much as he wanted and soon noticed how Levi was looking at _him._

Erwin was just adding in the piercings and what he could see of the tattoo creeping up Levi’s neck when Levi pounced. He pushed Erwin on his back and kissed him. Erwin’s mouth opened in surprise. He felt Levi’s tongue pushing inward and gasped when he felt the sharp coolness of his tongue stud. Erwin’s hands were laid above his own head. Levi held the one by the wrist, a pen still poised in Erwin’s fingers.

“Sorry,” Levi said, sitting up and smoothing his clothes. “I just couldn’t stand the way you were looking at me.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Erwin said, regaining his breath and hitting Levi with a pillow.

“Did you finish?” Levi asked eagerly.

Erwin quickly covered the sketchbook with his hands. “Not yet,” he insisted.

There was a knock on the door. Erwin’s father came in. “Will our guest be staying for dinner, Erwin?”

Levi gave Erwin a cocky smile.

“Yes,” Erwin said. “I think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing this (as you can tell by how quickly I'm updating lol) and I thank you for your many awesome moments.


	6. Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin has it.

He finished the drawing of Levi, taking special care to get all the details right. He didn’t want Levi to think it looked terrible. When he showed it to Levi, Erwin couldn’t tell if he liked it or not. Levi ran his fingers over the scratch that had been made when he kissed Erwin.

“Sorry about that,” Erwin said. “Though it wasn’t really _my_ fault.”

“It’s my favorite part.”

Erwin glowed at these words.

“Are you gonna grow up to be an artist? Because this is like, really good.”

“It’s just for fun,” Erwin sighed. “I could never make it as an artist.”

“Says who?” Levi asked.

“Me for one.”

“Well, fucking stop it,” Levi said.

“What’s it to you anyway?” Erwin asked.

“Because maybe everyone’s always telling me I can’t go into mathematics? _I_ believe I can do it. And I believe you can be an artist too. Isn’t that what you want?”

“I don’t know, Levi. It’s not an easy path.”

“Ever notice how in videogames that the enemies pop up when you’re going the right way?”  
“Deep.”

“Right?” Levi smiled then. Erwin had to hold himself back from kissing him, but, hell, he didn’t. The kiss caught on the corner of Levi’s mouth. It was only a peck, but they both began blushing like crazy after. _It must be the innocence of it,_ Erwin thought.

“What was that for?” Levi asked.

“Your smile.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Levi said, schooling his face into his usual frown, though Erwin could see the happiness in his eyes.

Then Erwin’s father pushed the door open. “Boys, dinner’s ready,” he said. Erwin and Levi both looked at each other in surprise, having the same thought: Erwin’s dad could have easily caught them kissing with the door ajar like that. Their surprise quickly dissolved into grins.

They went downstairs. “My dad’s a great cook,” Erwin said.

“You flatter me, son,” his father said, but he placed a roasted chicken and asparagus on the dining room table, and the smell alone was incredible.

Levi laughed. “I haven’t been this excited about dinner in a long time.”

“That sucks,” Erwin said.

“Language, Erwin,” his father said. Erwin saw Levi raise an eyebrow at that. He obviously didn’t have strict parenting in his own home.

They sat down to eat, beginning with an uncomfortable silence that Levi ended. “I heard,” Levi said, spearing a piece of asparagus with his fork, “that we’re each born with one of two genetic codons relating to asparagus.”

“Oh?” Erwin’s father said. “And what do they do?”

“Well. The one makes it possible to smell the asparagus pee of others but not your own. And the other one makes it so you could smell your own but yours doesn’t have a smell. Or something like that.”

Erwin stared at Levi openly.

“What?” he asked after stuffing the piece of asparagus into his mouth.

Erwin looked to his father and was shocked to see that he was smiling. “That’s very interesting. Probably from the University of Nothing Better to Do.” Erwin was shocked. He was certain that if he himself had said that, he would have gotten in trouble.

Next Levi and Erwin’s father chatted casually about game theory. Erwin remembered it vaguely from the movie “A Beautiful Mind” but couldn’t quite grasp what they were talking about. Math was the subject he had to work the hardest in. Levi and his father were opposite him in that. He was ultimately glad that the two of them were getting along so well.

After dinner, Levi offered to do the dishes. Naturally, Erwin’s father was further delighted. Erwin stood by his side, drying them after they were rinsed.

“So do you like cleaning? Or just being clean?” Erwin asked.

“Both,” Levi said. “Do you like being a hot mess? Or just creating messes?”

“Well, if I’m hot…”

“Fuck off,” Levi laughed.

“You fuck off,” Erwin murmured playfully.

All at once Erwin felt himself pulled downward with great force, Levi’s soapy arms wrapping around him, his kiss landing on Erwin’s mouth, making him give a moan low in his throat.

“Language, Erwin,” Levi said darkly.

 

 

The next day, 5th period history class, Erwin was able to catch a seat next to Levi in the back.

“Welcome to the dark side,” Levi said.

“Good to be here. Hey, I got a D on my French test from yesterday. Your fault again.”  
“What? Come on. You’re the one who didn’t study.”

“It’s fine,” Erwin said. “You know I find you very distracting,” Erwin said quietly. The class had already started. Zackley was talking away about people who had been dead for thousands of years. Outside, it was snowing for the first time. Most heads were turned toward the window.

Levi blushed at Erwin’s comment. “Maaaan,” Levi said. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” Erwin asked, smirking.

“Make me feel a certain way in the middle of class.”

“Can’t help myself,” Erwin said.

“I am trying…to learn.”

“Sure you are,” Erwin said and they turned to watch Zackley.

 

 

When Erwin got home, his father was waiting for him.

“Erwin,” he said. “I just got off the phone with Mr. Zackley.”

“What? Why? I’m fine in that class.”

“He’s just concerned. About you and…Levi. And his friends.”

Erwin wanted to face palm right there. His father and Zackley went way back. He shouldn’t have goofed off in his class so much.

“He says there are rumors about him and his friends. That his friends are drug dealers, that he got in trouble with the law recently.”

“Who cares?” Erwin asked, throwing his hands up. “He’s my friend. I’m not gonna do that stuff just because we’re friends.”

Erwin’s father sighed. “This isn’t good, Erwin. I’d really hate to so you go down the wrong path. Don’t you want to get into a good college?”

“I’m still getting into a good college, Dad. It’s just…Levi’s fine, okay? Just leave us alone.”

His father looked stunned by this. “I’ll think about it, Erwin. For now, focus on Zackley’s class instead of horsing around. You’re still grounded, you know. No hanging out with Levi for now.”

Erwin sighed. There was no use fighting his father when he was like this. He went up to his room and stared at the picture he’d drawn of Levi. The nose was a little off. And the sweep of his hair was different than in real life. Erwin found himself drawing Levi from memory: the smile and the happiness normally reserved for just his eyes. Before Erwin knew it, he had filled three pages with Levi: Levi’s disgusted face in Erwin’s car, Levi eating asparagus, Levi washing dishes, Levi, Levi, Levi. Erwin threw aside the sketchbook and laughed. He had something for Levi. He had it bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I got this done tonight! Leave a comment for me to wake up to? :)


	7. Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi enters the castle.

Levi: that’s fucking buuuuullshit

Erwin: I know

Erwin closed his phone and put has face into his hands. He hated that this was happening to him. Levi texted him again.

Levi: cant stop us from texting tho

Erwin smiled. It was true: his father would never go through his phone.

Levi: take that papa smith!

Erwin: Right?

Erwin: I wish I could see you

Levi: corny

Levi: but yeah

Levi: I know

Levi: wait

Levi: I have an idea >:)

Erwin: What?

Levi: wait 20 minutes lol

Erwin shook his head. He had no idea what Levi was up to. He tried to focus on his French homework due Monday. _Twenty minutes,_ he thought to himself. He kept checking his watch, willing time to tick away faster. It was evening, the sky already dark, clouds threatening more snow on top of the few inches they already had. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. Life was going too fast. It had only been Monday when Levi passed him his first note, Wednesday when he went to the party, and that same day Levi kissed him. _Why did he choose me?_ Erwin thought. _I’m so…boring._

He must have dozed off for a while, because the next thing he knew, he was being woken up by incessant tapping on his window. He sat up quickly. _Who in the fuck…_ He checked his watch. Twenty minutes exactly. What else?

Erwin looked out the window and grinned at Levi.

“For fuck’s sake, Erwin,” Levi said, his voice muffled by the glass. “Let me the fuck in.”

“Why should I?” Erwin teased.

“I will damage you,” Levi said with menace.

“Well. Since you came all this way,” Erwin said and unlocked the window, sliding it upward. Levi all but tumbled in, his freezing body colliding with Erwin’s warmth.

“It’s fucking freezing as balls out there!” His face was flushed, and he was in jeans and a black t-shirt.

“Where did you park?” Erwin asked, afraid that his father might see Levi’s car.

“I’m not an idiot. I ran here,” Levi said.

Erwin was surprised and decided to tease Levi again. “Ran? You’re so eager, Levi.”

Levi glowered at him, but Erwin was too warmed to Levi’s glares to be intimidated. It was endearing, the murder in his eyes. Erwin patted him on the head. Levi looked like he was this close to a brain aneurysm.

Levi grabbed Erwin’s arm in a death grip. “Don’t. Do that.”

Erwin laughed even as the pain seared through his arm. “Okay, okay.” When Levi released him, he rubbed at the red marks. Levi went over to Erwin’s desk. He seemed interested in something.

“Hey,” he said. “How’d you do these without seeing me?”

“What? Oh, no.” Erwin realized with horror that he had left his sketchbook out, his sketchbook full of Levis. Levi leafed through them now. So many Levis… Erwin wondered what Levi could possibly be thinking, but Levi was smiling.

“These are really good. Like, without a reference? I don’t know how you did it,” he said.

Erwin still wanted to die of embarrassment. He threw himself face down on his bed, burying his face in a pillow.

“Stay there,” he heard Levi say, then felt weight sinking down next to him. Erwin moved over to give Levi more room. They turned on their sides to face each other.

“I’ve never seen you at this angle,” Erwin said softly, loving the way Levi’s cheek smooshed against the pillow. He leaned in and kissed him gently. He pulled back just enough so that their foreheads were touching.

“I’m glad I wrote you notes,” Levi whispered.

“I’m glad I answered them,” Erwin whispered back.

Erwin was just about to kiss him again when Levi’s eyes suddenly grew wide. In one swift motion he rolled himself off the bed, hitting the ground with a loud thump, effectively blocking any view of himself from anyone standing at the door.

“Le—“ Erwin began, but then there was a knock at the door, which Erwin’s father opened immediately.

“Were you just talking?” his father asked.

“Maybe,” Erwin said guardedly.

“To Levi?”

Erwin sat up and glanced at where Levi lay. He was about to surrender in defeat until his father said, “Erwin, I don’t want to have to take your phone away. It’s getting late. I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight,” Erwin said in a daze.

When his father closed the door, Erwin and Levi waited in stunned silence, neither of them daring to move.

“Heh,” he heard Levi laugh from his position face-down on the floor. “Good thing he didn’t see your phone on your desk.” He sat up, grinning. “That was close.”

“Yeah,” Erwin said. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this again.

“Right,” Levi said, climbing back onto the bed and lying down. “Next time, come to my place.”

“No way. I don’t think I’m nimble enough to scale a wall like you did. I really don’t understand how you got up here.”

“Wimp.”

Erwin yawned.

“Time for me to leave?”

“No,” Erwin said, wrapping his arms around Levi. “Stay a little longer.”

“Okay.”

That’s how Erwin found himself dozing off, his face nestled in Levi’s hair, their limbs tangled messily. The next thing Erwin knew, he woke up to darkness. Levi had turned out the light and was gently nudging him.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey,” Erwin said sleepily.

“I’m gonna go. Don’t want your dad bursting in on us in the morning.”

Erwin moaned in protest. “Stay,” he said feebly.

“I’ll see you later, Princess,” Levi said with tenderness. He kissed Erwin on the forehead and climbed out the window, pulling it shut behind him. Levi disappeared into the night. Erwin’s mind searched lazily for words. In the end, as he drifted back to sleep, he found himself murmuring “Prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! Late night update! It's 2:24 AM here. I just really like this story so I'm sacrificing sleep a bit. I'm even staying up to begin the next chapter, because I decided I'll finish listening to "Come on Feel the Illinoise." It's kind of a long album so I'll be AWAKE. Also, the song I listened to on repeat while writing was actually "Frank Sinatra" by Cake. Link below :) Thanks for all the looooovely comments and subscribing and stuff. It makes me blush as much as I hope this story makes YOU blush ;) Next chapter is gonna be a looot of fun. Introducing Kenny Ackerman!!!!! And hey: remember to fill your lives with as much love as you can.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAkWJmoL8KQ


	8. A Game of Chess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me while I don't google anything about chess.

Erwin woke up with dread on Monday morning. It would be pure torture, he knew, to walk past Levi in their history class, to only be able to give him a wave, to give him no notes, to watch Zackley watch them. So it went, and so it went for the next day and the day after that. Erwin found himself sinking into a sadness he wasn’t familiar with. He ate less, slept more, and lost a lot of his studying motivation. _This is ridiculous,_ he thought to himself. _It’s only Levi._ They were still texting, but of course Erwin longed for more. He hating being in this sorry, self-pitying state. _You’ve barely known him for a week. Get a hold of yourself, for fuck’s sake._

On Wednesday afternoon, he got home. His father was waiting for him.

“Erwin,” he said from the couch. “Come chat.”

Erwin sat next to him, wary.

His father cleared his throat. “You’ve been grounded for a week now, and I can see it’s been effecting you. I think one week for one late night is fair, don’t you?”

Erwin was not gladdened by the news. It didn’t matter, but he tried anyway. “And what about…”

“Levi?” his father said. “I’ve met the boy. He’s a good person, though I do think he’s prone to risk. You can see him again, but if I get one whiff of any illegal goings on, that’s it.”

Erwin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thank you. I won’t do anything stupid,” he said, though in his mind he knew he already had.

He texted Levi right away.

Levi: omg

Levi: come over?

Erwin: Yeah

Erwin quickly got himself ready. He didn’t realize he was grinning from ear to ear until he saw his father shake his head and laugh, predicting where he was going.

When Erwin arrived, Levi answered the door right away. He wrapped his arms around Erwin’s neck and they kissed passionately. Erwin closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. It was only when they separated that Erwin noticed that there was someone else there. It was a man, tall and reedy with stubble on his face.

“Oh,” Levi said. “Erwin, this is my Uncle Kenny. Uncle Kenny, this is my lover, Erwin.”

“What the?!” Erwin said. If he were drinking something at the time he would have spat it out.

“Pleased to meet you,” Kenny said, unshocked by what Levi had said.

“Levi,” Erwin chided. “Don’t say…things like that.”

“What?” Levi asked casually. “Uncle Kenny doesn’t care if you take it in the ass.”

“First of all if _I_ take it in the ass? Second of all—“

“Look boys,” Kenny interjected. “This has been a very…illuminating conversation, but I gotta get out of here. Got a hot date tonight.”

“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Levi said. Kenny gave him a thumbs up.

And with that, Levi and Erwin were left alone. There was suddenly an awkward tension in the room. It dawned on Erwin that there was nothing separating, no one forcing them apart. Just two boys made distant by the oxygen between them.

Levi shifted from foot to foot. “Wanna sit?”  
“What? Oh, yeah.” They sat together on the couch, a whole cushion between them. Erwin nervously ran his hands up and down his knees, not sure how to proceed. Levi had his arms crossed, looking anywhere but Erwin.

“Music?” Levi asked.

“Sure,” Erwin said, and Levi busied himself with his CD player. A woman’s voice poured out, a piano was banged on, and drums accompanied.

“Dresden Dolls,” Levi said. “Amanda fucking Palmer.”

“Oh,” Erwin said, but he hadn’t heard of them before.

Levi sat back down, much closer to Erwin than before. It wasn’t long before Levi was leaned against Erwin, wrapping his arms around his middle. Erwin put his arm around him.

“Missed you,” Levi mumbled so quietly that Erwin almost thought he imagined it. Levi laid there, breathing softly. Erwin didn’t dare move. Was Levi asleep? But no, the doorbell rang suddenly, and he opened his eyes in an instant, a scowl on his face.

“Who is it?” he said angrily and headed for the door.

“Farlan and Izza,” a woman’s voice said. Levi’s countenance changed into something happier, happier but still somewhat annoyed. He opened the door. Standing there was a boy and girl about their age. The boy was handsome with great sweeps of light brown hair on his head, and the girl had messy dark red hair drawn back into two pigtails. She had the most intense green gaze Erwin had ever seen. She burst in while the boy hung back, taking off his shoes by the door first.

“Levi, is this the guy? Is this him?” the girl said excitedly.

“Isabel, stop talking. Farlan. We playing tonight?” Erwin noted the irritation and slight blush on Levi’s face.

“Yeah,” the guy said. He looked to Erwin. “I’m Farlan Church. Nice to meet you.”

Erwin stood up and shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. You don’t go to our school, do you?”

“Nah. Me and Izza are out of district.”

“I see.”

“Oh, no.” Farlan had turned to look at Isabel, whose pigtails were held by Levi. He had pulled her close to eye level and looked like he was scolding her.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Levi said.

“Aaaah! Okay, okay. Let me go,” Isabel whined. Levi released her. She was fixing her hair when she turned to Erwin. “Hi. I’m Izza.”

“Hey,” he said. “Erwin Smith.”

“Erwin Smith,” she repeated. She glanced meaningfully at Levi, then back to Erwin. Levi sighed in defeat.

“Farlan and I are gonna play chess.”

Farlan had already found Levi’s chess set and was getting it ready. “We met at a chess tournament at my school.”

“You’re on the chess team?” Erwin asked Levi with wonder.

“I was,” he said. “But now I’m a mathlete.”

Erwin tried to imagine Levi getting along with the math nerds he knew. He just couldn’t picture it.

“And yet he still beats me. Easily,” Farlan said with a frown.

Erwin watched them play as Isabel played around on the stereo. Levi took big but calculated risks. Farlan was more cautious. Out of six games, Levi lost only once.

“I wanna play you, Levi,” Erwin said suddenly.

“Huh?” Levi asked. “Have you had practice?”

“Not really,” Erwin shrugged, but he was already scheming.

Levi set up the board. They both fell into deep concentration. Isabel’s music faded away. It was only the two of them. Erwin watched Levi’s hands, soft and smooth, hands he had held, hands that he would hold again. He shook himself from these thoughts. It was his turn. Levi had him in a tough spot, but he soon got out of it. What was he planning? Then came the critical moment: Erwin put his queen in position to be captured in a few moves. Levi furrowed his brow, skeptical. But he took the bait, and soon Erwin had things reversed.

“Check,” he said innocently.

Levi shook his head. “Motherfucker,” he mumbled.

The game went on for another twenty minutes, Erwin wearing down Levi’s stamina, frustrating him more and more until he could only make desperate decisions.

“Checkmate,” Erwin said with a smile. Isabel applauded, though Erwin was sure she knew next to nothing about chess. Farlan smiled, impressed.

“Lucky shot,” Levi grumbled.

“Was it now?” Erwin asked with a smile.

Levi rolled his eyes, but didn’t ask for a rematch.

Time had passed quickly, and the sky had been dark for a while.

“I gotta go,” Erwin said. He put on his coat and shoes at the door. When he stepped out, Levi stepped out with him and closed the door. Erwin was surprised that Levi would be so direct.

Erwin cupped Levi’s chin in his hand and kissed him gently.

Levi seemed to be searching Erwin’s eyes. “I’ll win next time,” he said in a soft voice. He almost looked vulnerable then.

“We’ll see about that,” Erwin said and kissed him again. “See you.”

“See you,” Levi repeated.

Erwin saw Isabel peeking out the window. He shared a smile with her.

When Erwin got home, there was one text from Levi.

Levi: i killed isabel

Erwin: !!!!!!

Levi: im gonna have a party

Levi: maybe friday??

Erwin: On Friday? Like a normal person?

Levi: gross no

Levi: coming?

Erwin: Yeah.

Erwin went to do his homework. AP calc. It was hard to focus, thinking about Levi’s terse, neat notes, his firm, frowning mouth, the sweep of the winged tattoo on his neck. The rest was hidden under his shirt. Erwin longed to see it but settled on accepting the mystery. Levi was full of engimas, with foul moods and swings that ran volatile through his blood. Erwin planned to unlock all he could of Levi, to play this game of chess with him. There was no desire to win or dominate however. He wanted only to discover Levi and for Levi to discover Erwin, to pass time the time with him in comfortable knowing. Erwin smiled. In his head he had so much not figured out. It was unusual, but Erwin looked forward to going into the future in total blindness, if only Levi were at his side. Erwin laughed. When did things get so serious? But he was happy, happier than he had maybe ever been. He didn’t know what was coming next, but he relaxed and prepared himself to enjoy it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D More to come soon. Much like Erwin, I don't exactly have a plan right now ;) It's fun! I don't like the ending of this chapter but what the hell.
> 
> On a more random note, I'm thinking of writing a biiig reincarnation AU with Erwin and Levi. Like I'm gonna try to be a person who writes 20k a chapter. My goal is that magical land of 400k total words. I'll keep you guys updated. I definitely will be outlining that shit more than I've outlined this. We'll see we'll see.
> 
> The song I've been listening to on repeat while writing is "A Perfect Sonnet" by Bright Eyes. Link below :)
> 
> Thank you, everyone!!!!!!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlZTel358l4


	9. Take This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had this 95% finished just a couple hours after posting yesterday's chapter. I'm really feelin' it guys.

Erwin dressed well that night, changing his shirt at least three times and parting his hair, restyling it over and over. It looked the same as ever. But that was good, wasn’t it? It was, Erwin reassured himself, because Levi liked Erwin the way he was. He looked in the mirror and was satisfied with that.

He had been sitting with Levi in history class for the past two days. They passed notes right next to each other, enjoying the dubious look that Mr. Zackley had first given them. He would call Erwin’s father and Erwin’s father would tell him it was alright.

He arrived at Levi’s house twenty minutes late so he wouldn’t be the first one there. Levi took him by the hand and led him to the kitchen.

“You want something?” Levi asked, gesturing to the alcohol.

“Maybe a beer?”

“Your first?”

“Yeah.”

Levi handed him a Guinness. He felt its weight in his hand. It felt heavy and foreign to him. He opened it and took a sip.

“Oh,” he said. “It’s kind of gross?”

Levi laughed. They headed back into the living room. Farlan and Isabel were there along with Hanji, who had pre-gamed at home. She was already wild and getting on Levi’s nerves.

Erwin could tell this party would be less tame than the last. There was an energy of risk in the air. It excited him. It scared him.

When Mike showed up, Levi and him disappeared into his room. They came out and gathered everyone to play a drinking game called Cheers Govna. They had to count to twenty-one together, each of them taking turns saying a number one after the other. When they got to twenty-one they would all say “Cheers, Govna!” and drink. Then a new rule would be added for the next round. “For example,” Levi said, “a rule to replace the number seven with a curse word. Then we get to twenty-one, cheers, and change another number. If we screw up, we take a drink and start over at one.”

It seemed simple enough, until Hanji made a rule to say “eight” during number eleven and “eight” again at number seventeen and three. Hanji was then banned from making rules.

“Nineteen,” Farlan said.

“Aaaaw, shit!” Erwin said next, laughing

“Fuck, really? Start over,” Isabel said next.

Levi cracked up. He had ingeniously changed number twenty to that “aaaaw, shit!” a few rounds ago and Isabel had fallen for it.

“Fuck _you,_ Levi!” Isabel said as they all took drinks.

Levi laughed again. Erwin was a bit perplexed: Levi never laughed this often. And his laugh was different, kind of shrill. Not like Levi at all. Erwin couldn’t figure it out. He was on edge, nervous that he was underage drinking. The cops might come, asking them to turn down the stereo, instead arresting them for drinking. He had promised his father he wouldn’t do anything illegal. Did this count? He knew his father to be straight-laced, but would he understand that plenty of high schoolers drank? Erwin really didn’t know and brooded over this.

Levi poked him in the side.

“Hey,” he said. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

Levi scowled.

“Well, my father wouldn’t like this,” Erwin said, gesturing to the Guinness in his hand.

“Your father’s not here, Erwin.” Levi was on his knees and Erwin was sitting cross-legged, so it was easy for him to kiss Erwin. There. _In front of everyone,_ Erwin thought. He put a hand on Levi’s chest, pushed him away. Farlan was watching, and Hanji was definitely freaking out about how she hadn’t be told. Levi pulled away, an unasked question in his eyes. He soon got up and disappeared with Mike again.

When they exited Levi’s room again, Erwin understood. There was the unmistakable smell of marijuana, heavily emanating from Levi’s room. Erwin’s eyes widened. How could Levi do this? He was so smart and might as well have been throwing away his talent. Erwin didn’t know much about marijuana, but he did know how stupid it made people, at least temporarily. His father had told him a story from his own high school days about a star quarterback who became a stoner and basically threw away his future football scholarship. It seemed careless to Erwin to risk everything like that.

They kept playing the game, which Levi and Mike kept screwing up.

“Fuck, I don’t know,” Levi said when the game got around to him. He and Mike giggled. Erwin fumed silently.

“I wonder why you guys are suddenly sucking at this,” Isabel joked.

“If I could posit a theory,” Hanji said, “or you guys could actually share some of that shit with us.”

“Yeah, come on,” Isabel said. “Give us the ganja.”

“It’s not cheap,” Levi said then glanced briefly at Erwin. His eyes were wide, as if he were realizing how Erwin might feel about this. Erwin looked away.

Mike got the pot out, and everyone except Erwin and Levi took hits. Levi was still looking at him, and Erwin still ignored him. In fact, he got up to leave.

“Where’s Erwin going?” Hanji said loudly, snapping everyone’s eyes to him.

“He can’t handle it,” someone said.

Levi got up and chased after Erwin. He was practically out the door when Levi grabbed onto his arm.

“Erwin,” Levi said. “It’s not a big deal. Kenny smokes too. He gets it.”

“But I don’t,” Erwin said. The wind and snow were blowing straight into the doorway, and Erwin wanted to leave as soon as possible.

“Stay,” Levi said pleadingly.

“Can’t,” Erwin said flatly. He turned to go.

“Kiss me,” Levi said. “Before you go.”

“I bet your mouth tastes terrible, so no. Though that’s not the only reason I won’t.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I was right about you. You _are_ boring.”

 “That’s right I am,” he said, jilted. “I’ll just go be boring by myself.”

“Erwin, wait!” he heard Levi call, but he didn’t follow him to his car. Erwin left.

 

The next morning, Erwin woke up late. He hadn’t stayed up especially long last night, but he just didn’t want to get up. He closed his eyes to the sun shining through his window. When he opened them again, he saw Levi.

“Fuck,” Erwin said. Levi was outside his window again, a sorry look on his face.

“Hey,” he said, muted by the panes. “You gonna let me in?”

Erwin rolled away from the window in response. _Make him suffer a while,_ he thought.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Levi said. “Should I sing for you? Not like to seduce you. Just to win you over.”

Erwin didn’t answer.

Levi began to sing.

“My love must be a kind of blind love.”

Erwin began to smile.

“I only have eyes for you.”

Erwin sat up. Levi was a pretty good crooner.

“Are the stars out tonight? I don’t know if it’s cloudy or bright. I only have eyes foooor you.”

Erwin got up and unlocked the window. Levi let himself in. He wrapped his arms around Erwin, the freezing wind blowing at their legs. Levi kept singing. They swayed slowly to the old love song and soon began laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Levi said. “I really am.”

“I know,” Erwin said. “Just don’t do it around me again, okay? And promise me you’ll be careful.”

“No one has died from a pot overdose, you know. If they did, then Mike would be dead too.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Erwin sighed.

“I know,” Levi murmured.

“So you’re still gonna do it?”

“I don’t know, Erwin. I’ll think about it.”

 “You’re a pretty good singer, you know,” Erwin said.

“I know.”

Erwin laughed. Levi was so multi-faceted: smart, cocky, angry, puzzling, surprisingly sweet when he wanted to be. Erwin rested his chin on top of Levi’s head and closed his eyes. He couldn’t take everything about Levi, but, for now at least, he could take this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to the song below.
> 
> Thanks for helping this little fic exceed 100 kudos. It means a lot to me. Comment if you'd like.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvzNeh4Mq1o


	10. Two Commas

The weeks passed quickly. They had finished fall semester and were now on winter break. Their favorite thing to do was play chess. Levi was an excellent match to Erwin, and they were pretty much split 50-50 in terms of wins.

“Whoever loses this game has to give Kenny a hug when he gets home,” Levi said.

“Okay,” Erwin said. “I’ll raise you one whispered ‘I love you’ in his ear.”

“You’re on.”

They began. The game went on a long time, and Erwin found his mind wandering. Both of them were on the floor, on their bellies, held up on elbows and forearms. Erwin’s eyes strayed from the board, landing on Levi’s soft pink mouth.

Levi noticed. “Pervert,” he muttered.

Erwin laughed, then crawled toward Levi, leaning precariously over the board and giving Levi a kiss.

“Hey,” Levi said severely. “Don’t distract me. I’m winning.”

“That remains to be seen,” Erwin mused.

Levi moved his bishop. “Check.”

“Damn.”

“Right?”

It wasn’t long before Levi won and they heard keys in the door. Erwin sighed and stood up. Kenny swaggered into the living room only to be stopped by Erwin’s sudden embrace.

“Hey, buddy. I don’t know what this is, but…”

“I love you,” Ewrin whispered.

“Um.”

Erwin and Levi burst out laughing. He let Kenny go.

“I shouldn’t leave you two alone.”

“Oh,” Erwin said. “I almost forgot. You’re both invited to my dad’s Christmas Eve dinner.”

“Really?” Levi said. “Papa Smith and Kenny? Together?”

“I think it will create a very interesting contrast,” Erwin said.

“I’m game,” Kenny said. “Better than going to the bar.”

“Yeah, Kenny. That’s really depressing actually,” Levi deadpanned.

“Anyway,” Kenny said. “Does your father know about your…” he looked between Levi and Erwin, “…particular situation?”

Erwin looked at Levi who seemed uncomfortable and wouldn’t meet his gaze.

Erwin turned back to Kenny. “No,” Erwin said. “He doesn’t.”

“Okay,” Kenny said. “I won’t mess that up.”

Kenny left them alone after that. Erwin began setting up the chess board again. Levi sat on the couch, his knees curled to his chest. Erwin felt Levi’s eyes on him.

“I don’t wanna play another,” Levi said quietly.

Erwin abandoned the board and went to sit on the couch. He put an arm around Levi.

“Why haven’t you told your dad?” Levi asked. His arms were folded. He was looking at the door.

“I don’t know,” Erwin admitted. “I guess…he scares me.”

“Is that all,” Levi said flatly.

“This is new to me,” Erwin said. “I mean, I’ve thought of telling my dad for years, but…”

Levi sighed. “Yeah. I get it.”

“It’ll happen, Levi. Just give me some time. I’ll tell my dad all about my wonderful boyfriend.”

Levi smiled and turned to Erwin. “Boyfriend?”

“I mean, if you had to put a label on it,” Erwin said, grinning.

“I guess so,” Levi said, returning the grin.

Erwin used his free hand to find Levi’s. Levi leaned his head on Erwin’s chest.

“I want everyone to know,” Levi said. “And if they don’t like it I can tell them to fuck off. That’s all I want.”

“You’ll get that, Levi. I promise.”

“Don’t break it,” Levi said darkly.

“I won’t,” Erwin said and meant it.

 

Christmas Eve came around. Erwin and his father were setting up the dining room table. There would be seven guests: Kenny, Levi, Pastor Nick, Nile, Nile’s parents, and Nile’s sort-of girlfriend Marie. Erwin was glad to add Levi and his uncle. They would give the dinner some much needed color, he thought.

Nile and Marie arrived early, ahead of Nile’s parents. The three of them went up to Erwin’s room.

“It’s just like I remember,” Marie said.

“I’ve never been up here before,” Nile said. “Wait. You have?”

Marie shrugged. Nile seemed to shake it off. He put his arm around her. Marie was beautiful as ever with her long, chestnut hair and captivating green eyes. She stood about a head shorter than Erwin and Nile.

Erwin remembered that time when it was just him and Marie up here. How it had almost happened, but not quite: the softness of her hair as he tucked it behind her ear, the warmth of her cheeks as he cupped her face in his hand, the slow pull away, the quiet downward spiral from that point on. Erwin wiped his face of any residual emotion. Marie was with Nile. The end.

Nile was looking at Erwin’s sketchbook. Erwin didn’t stop him as he flipped through the pages. He watched the puzzled look grow on Nile’s face.

“Is this…Levi?” he asked.

Erwin nodded.

“What are you…obsessed with him or something?” He looked up from the pages, his brow furrowed.

“Well, we’re sort of together now,” Erwin said, feeling heat rise in his cheeks.

“Oh,” Nile said. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Erwin repeated. He could feel Marie appraising him in silence.

“I mean,” Nile said, obviously struggling. “ _Him?”_

Erwin laughed coldly. “Maybe you’re not as great a judge of character as you think, Nile.”

Then a knock sounded on Erwin’s window. Erwin laughed for real this time and let Levi inside.

“Hey,” Levi said, brushing snow off his pants. Erwin, deciding that it didn’t matter anymore, kissed Levi on the forehead and brushed a bit of snow out of his hair. Levi glanced at the others then said, “Kenny is entering the civilized way. I.e., the door.”

“Isn’t it slippery out there?” Marie asked.

“It’s fine. If I fall I’ll just sue.”

“My dad?” Erwin said.

“Why not?”

In the silence that followed, Erwin realized he hadn’t introduced anyone. “Oh. Levi, this is Nile and his…girlfriend Marie.” Erwin tripped over his words, not sure what was now going on between the two of them.

Marie just beamed through it and held out her hand to Levi. “A pleasure,” she said.

“The pleasure is mine,” he said and kissed her hand.

Marie laughed. Erwin saw Nile almost start to say something until, evidently, he remembered Levi was gay. With nothing left to say, they headed downstairs. Kenny and Pastor Nick were chatting about who knows what, and Nile’s parents had just arrived.

“Looks like everyone’s here,” Erwin’s father said. The table was a large mahogany one, and it was set with dishes of sweet potatoes, stuffing, broccoli casserole, ham, and many others. All were cooked to perfection by Erwin’s father. He sat at the head of the table while Erwin sat next to him followed by Levi and Kenny. Marie and Nile sat across from Erwin and Levi respectively. Nile’s parents sat across from Kenny, and Pastor Nick sat across from Erwin’s father.

They started loading up their plates. Erwin had to stop Levi from biting into a roll. “We have to wait,” Erwin said.

“For what?”

“Let us pray,” Pastor Nick began.

“Oh,” Levi said and put the roll down.

They joined hands and bowed their heads.

“We thank you, Lord, for this bountiful harvest and for the friends and family joined around this very table. We remember those who are no longer with us, Vanessa Smith—“

Erwin felt the twitch of Levi’s thumb on his and then the smooth circles he rubbed into Erwin’s palm. Erwin didn’t know why Pastor Nick insisted on bringing up his mother every year. It had been almost…nineteen years now.

“—and others we have lost along the way. May they be at peace. Amen.”

“Amen,” they concluded. Erwin lost the touch of Levi’s hand on his, and they began to eat.

“Do you like it?” Erwin asked Levi who had just started eating the sweet potatoes.

“It’s amazing,” Levi said with a full mouth. He swallowed. “They seem to be getting along well,” he said, gesturing to Kenny and Pastor Nick.

“So what do you think of AJ Styles?” the pastor asked Kenny.

“He’s a pussy,” Kenny said unabashedly.

Pastor Nick laughed. “I think he brought a lot to the WWE, honestly.”

“Now Asuka, she’s more my speed,” Kenny said.

“I’m not into the female wrestling myself, but…”

“What a thing for them to bond over,” Erwin said to Levi.

“Right?” Levi said.

They turned their attention to Marie who was enthusiastically telling a story.

“And then we ran into the gazebo to escape the rain,” she said. “Oh it was so romantic, wasn’t it Nile?”

Nile sat with his elbow on the table and his hand propping up his chin as he smiled at her. He looked entirely smitten by her. _And who wouldn’t be?_ Erwin thought. He noticed not for the first time how Marie glowed, making everyone around her stare. Except Levi. Levi was looking at Erwin.

Erwin glanced at Levi who was frowning at him, suspicion in his eyes. He turned back to Marie. She was waving her hands as she told her story. That’s when Erwin saw it.

“Marie,” he said. “Is that…a ring?”

Marie paused and held up her left land, smiling sweetly. A silver band with a large diamond was on her ring finger. “I was just about to say. While we were in the gazebo…” She was blushing.

“Marie,” Erwin said. “That’s…that’s great. Congratulations.” He meant it.

The table buzzed then with well wishes for the two. Nile looked happy, happier than Erwin had ever seen him.

Levi congratulated them but lapsed into silence, not looking at Erwin anymore and barely eating his food.

 

Long after everybody had finished their food, they remained talking around the table. It was a happy atmosphere, the adults almost tipsy from their wine. Even Levi seemed to warm, answering Erwin’s talk with more than one word.

When Erwin went to the front door to see Levi and Kenny off, Levi looked around, then leapt up to kiss Erwin. “I’ll be at the window, okay?”

“Okay,” Erwin said.

But when Erwin tried to go back to his room, his father stopped him.

“Could you help me clear the table, son?”

“Sure,” Erwin said hesitantly, but it didn’t end with that. He was made to wash the dishes too. As he stood there with his hands in the hot soapy water he almost laughed at how mad Levi would be, waiting outside the window, if he was still there.

When Erwin finally got upstairs, he opened his door to find Levi laying on his bed, his eyes shut, his hands behind his head. He was listening to Erwin’s iPod. He looked so relaxed. Erwin shut the door softly and gently sat on the bed He fluttered a kiss onto Levi’s lips. Levi opened his eyes.

“Hey,” Levi said with the smallest smile on his face. He seemed sleepy.

“Hey.”

Levi removed the headphones. “You have a lot of ABBA on here,” he said.

“I know,” Erwin laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about…”

“Marie?” Levi said. “Yeah,” he sighed. “It’s okay. You had a fling with her a few years ago?”

“I almost kissed her,” Erwin said guiltily.

Levi laughed. “What, freshman year? It’s okay Erwin. We all have someone like that.”

“You?” Erwin asked.

Levi rolled his eyes. “Me, yeah. You’re not my first, Erwin. Mike and I…”

“Wow. Mike?”

“Yup. But it didn’t work out. Him not being gay and all. Kind of killed the mood.”

“Oh,” Erwin said. “How did you get in here anyway?” He gestured to the window which he was sure he had locked.

“I have my ways.” Levi sat up and wrapped his arms around Erwin. “I want to sleep with you. Not in the sexy sense. Just in the you’re-really-warm-so-can-we-cuddle sense.”

“Okay,” Erwin said. “I’ll lock my door.” Levi held him tight. Eventually they both relaxed and laid down together. They laid their like two commas nestling each other perfectly, Erwin’s chest pressed to Levi’s back, their legs entwined.

“I have to turn out the light,” Erwin said regrettably.

“Ung,” Levi mumbled into a pillow.

“You don’t have any pajamas,” Erwin said. He darkened the room.

“’S’fine,” Levi said. He put Erwin’s iPod on the nightstand and started removing his piercings. Without them he looked more innocent. More angelic even. Erwin slipped down to his boxers. He couldn’t help but be a little uncomfortable at how Levi stared.

“What?” Erwin asked, crossing his arms over his body. It got hot in his room with the door closed, so he couldn’t wear anything but this.

“Oh, no. He’s hot,” Levi said.

“Shut up,” Erwin said and quickly got under the bed covers. “You look pretty cute without your piercings, you know?”

Levi got under the covers with him. They laid embracing each other chest to chest.

“And what do I look like with the piercings in?”

Erwin thought for a moment. “Vicious,” he decided.

“Good,” Levi said and broke into a big smile.  
They fell asleep holding one another, and Erwin felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world.

 

Erwin woke up just as the sun was rising, shining redly into his room. The first thing he saw was Levi, his small mouth open just slightly as he snored softly. His eyebrows were pinched together, forming a line between them, and Erwin wondered what he was dreaming to make him angry even in his sleep. Erwin kissed him on the forehead and watched as his brow softened instantly. Levi turned in his sleep, away from the bright sun, closer to Erwin. Erwin stretched, then drifted back to sleep.

The next thing he knew, Levi was standing up and facing the door, looking frightened and poised to fight. Erwin turned to the doorway. His father was standing there, a completely bewildered look on his face.

“Levi?” he said. “I…”

Levi turned to Erwin. “Erwin. You forgot to lock the door, didn’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhuhu I'm back from finals hell! I had to write so many papers! And none of them were about Eruri! I had fun in class writing "Notes" while I was supposed to be taking actual notes.
> 
> Here's the song I listened to the most while writing this chapter lol
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCffJMfGCNw
> 
> PS Pastor Nick X Kenny 5evr


	11. My Idiot

Erwin’s father stared at them, dumbfounded. “Levi…” he said. “I didn’t…know you were here. I’m sorry.” With that he left them, closing the door.

“Shit fuck in hell,” Levi said under his breath.

“That was bad, wasn’t it?” Erwin said. “That was really, _really_ bad, Levi.”

Levi still stood there like he was in shock. _At least he’s fully clothed,_ Erwin thought.

“I should go?” Levi said.

Erwin groaned. He stood and went to his closet for a change of clothes. “Not yet,” he said. Levi waited, still standing there, looking helpless, a dazed look of something like defeat on his face. When Erwin was dressed he went to embrace him. “Not yet,” he said again. He rested his chin on Levi’s head. The perfect height.

“Should I…can I stay until after?”

“I’ll be expecting you to hear the full play-by-play.” Erwin then took Levi’s hand and kissed its back tenderly.

“Okay,” Levi said, looking up at Erwin with sad eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

“I left the door unlocked.”

“He had to find out. One way or another.”

Erwin sighed. “I just wish I had a little more control.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t really think he’ll be too mad.”

“I don’t know,” Erwin said. “We’ll see.” It was painful then, to pull himself away from Levi. As he opened the door and looked back, he thought for the first time that Levi looked…small.

He went looking for his father. He walked quietly through the upstairs, afraid to disturb something, perhaps afraid to see his father glancing up at him with whatever expression would be on his face, waiting for explanation. Erwin found him at the dining room table. He was staring at the morning paper and set it down with a sigh.

“Erwin,” he said. “Sit with me.”

Erwin gulped but sat down next to him.

After a silent moment, Erwin’s father staring off into the distance, he said, “Tell me, Erwin. As if I hadn’t walked into your room today.”

Erwin’s mood lifted slightly. He was willing to forget what he had seen.

Erwin cleared his throat. “Well, I don’t…I don’t like only boys, but I…like Levi and…we’ve been seeing each other.”

Erwin’s father nodded. A hint of a smile appeared on his face. “That’s fine with me, Erwin. But two things. The first being that I would have liked to know earlier. It troubles me that you couldn’t confide in your own father. I mean I care about you, Erwin, and I want to know what’s going on in your life.”

Erwin nodded. He did feel guilty that this hadn’t happened sooner.

“And the other thing is,” his father took a deep breath, “that I don’t think you two should be…having relations so early on. Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this but—“

“Dad, no!” Erwin said turning bright red. “I’m not…we’re not…we’re not doing anything _relations-wise._ I mean…” Erwin had never felt so embarrassed in his entire life. “Levi was dressed, right?”

His father stared at him a moment.

“We were just sleeping,” Erwin added.

“Okay, Erwin. But maybe you should have Levi using the front door from now on. I don’t like this sneaking around.”

“Okay. I’m sorry about that.”

“For what it’s worth, Erwin, your mother would have loved Levi and you together.”

Erwin didn’t know what to say to that. He honestly hated whenever his mother was brought up, which wasn’t all that often.

“You’ve grown up too fast, Erwin.” His father stood. While Erwin was still sitting his father ruffled his hair, something he had done affectionately when Erwin was small. The gesture surprised Erwin. His father wasn’t one to express his emotions openly, so that touch probably meant a lot to him.

Erwin went back upstairs. He didn’t want his father to know that Levi was still there, so maybe he’d ask him to use his window escape one last time. Levi was waiting on his bed, looking kind of glum. He stood. His piercings were back in. They made him seem less vulnerable, Erwin thought.

“It went fine,” Erwin said. “It’s…we’re okay.” They held hands, their fingers fumbling over each other’s.

Levi let out a sigh. “That’s good. What did he say?”

“Well. He thought we were having ‘relations.’”

“Relations!” Levi laughed. “What is this? The twenties?”

“You know my dad is old-fashioned.”

“I know,” Levi said.

“He brought up my mom.”

“Oh.”

“It was weird,” Erwin said. “I don’t like when that happens.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just easier to forget I ever had a mom. I can’t even remember her. All I have are old photos and a video of her holding me as a baby.”

“Wait. I thought she died giving birth to you,” Levi said, confused.

“I never said that.” He walked to the window, his back to Levi. He could feel him watching. “She shot herself in the head. Post-partum depression. Really bad.”

Levi came up behind him, gently turned him around. “Erwin,” he said. “That’s terrible.”

“I know. My dad…I heard he couldn’t be around me for a long time after. I didn’t learn about how she died or anything for several years. She was just…gone.” Erwin blinked away the tears that he felt forming. He had never truly cried about his mother, and he never wanted to. He knew it wasn’t the most healthy behavior, but he didn’t like breaking down.

Levi hugged him tight. They stayed that way for a few moments, Erwin thinking about how bad it would feel when Levi finally let go. When they did, Erwin was shocked to see tears in Levi’s eyes.

“It’s not fair,” Levi said. “You deserve everything. If I had my way you’d have everything good, Erwin.”

Erwin smiled fondly. “I didn’t take you to be so…touchy-feely?”

“Shut up,” Levi said, and Erwin knew he wouldn’t see this much emotion from Levi for a long while.

“Merry Christmas, Levi.” He pulled Levi back into his arms.

“And happy birthday?”

“What?” Erwin said. “Is it your birthday too?”

“Oh, yeah. I guess you didn’t know.”

“Do you want something?” Erwin asked.

Levi stared up at him, thinking, then said, “I want the drawing of me. The one where I’m disgusted with your car.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

After that, they laid together on Erwin’s bed, just listening for hours to Erwin’s “shitty taste in music,” as Levi put it. “I should have gotten you decent CDs for Christmas,” he complained bitterly. “I’ll get you some soon.” The morning passed peacefully between them. Still, Erwin felt that Levi left much too soon, crawling out the window and glancing back with an arched eyebrow and a sexy smile.

 

On the day they went back to school, Erwin felt a weird energy in the halls. He felt like everyone was staring at him. And they were. They were definitely staring at him. He checked himself in the bathroom mirror. Nothing looked wrong. Before he got to class with Levi, he’d figured it out. He heard girls whispering too loudly behind him when he walked down the hall. “That guy in front of us is banging the punk math kid.” Erwin felt himself blushing. _It shouldn’t be so embarrassing,_ he thought. _But it is._

He got to historyclass  and sat next to Levi.

Before he could open his mouth, Levi said in a low voice, “Everyone fucking _knows._ ”

“Yeah,” Erwin said. “I noticed.”

“All these assholes. Ruining my street cred.”

“I’m sorry,” Erwin said.

“Nile?”

“Marie,” he replied flatly. “I should have warned you she gossips. A lot.”

“It’s whatever,” Levi said. “I was gonna beat all the fuck outta Pubebeard.”

Erwin didn’t know what to say to that.

“I meant Nile,” Levi said.

“I know,” Erwin said, cracking a smile. “It isn’t all that bad, is it? Having everyone know. Isn’t it what you wanted?”

“Eventually,” Levi said. “And on my own terms.”

Erwin nodded. He understood.

“But…you haven’t gotten any shit for it, have you?” Levi asked.

“No, not yet anyway. You?”

“Yeah. It’s fine though.”

Erwin’s brow creased. “It’s not fine. Do you want me to beat them up for you?”

Levi smiled. “Yes, please.”

Then class began. They wrote each other notes on their spirals, drawing pictures of Zackley and snickering to themselves.

 

The day went on, just more of the same whispers and stares. Erwin was already getting used to it. Until some guy called him a faggot in gym class.

They were playing basketball. A guy on his team called Erwin a fucking faggot when he missed a shot.

“What did you say to me?” Erwin asked.

“I said you’re a fucking faggot,” the guy repeated. He was big and sneering. “You and your fairy whore.”

Erwin gritted his teeth. The game had come to a stop, everyone staring. The teacher was nowhere in sight.

“You’re an asshole,” Erwin said and went to get the ball that had skidded out of bounds, forgotten. When he came back, the guy had more to say.

“Your boyfriend _is_ a whore. Gets around a lot. Guys and girls, I’ve heard.”

That did it. Erwin knew he could take this guy. He was big, but Erwin wasn’t small either, and he was fast. He punched the guy square in the nose. The guy’s head reeled back. Then he rolled his head around…and grinned at Erwin.

Erwin realized that this was exactly what the guy was looking for. He dodged a punch or two, but then the guy hit him in the stomach and swung at Erwin’s face. Erwin felt pain blister around his eye. His taunter shook his hand out and squared up. Then Erwin was on him, hitting him in the face mercilessly ‘til he had him on the ground. Erwin was blinded by anger. Hands grabbed at him. He heard the other guys saying, “Come on, man, that’s enough,” but he couldn’t stop. Not ‘til five guys were holding him back. Then the teacher reappeared.

They were both sent to the principal’s office, sitting next to each other silently, arms crossed. Erwin got a look at the guy’s face. It was blooming with bruises and blood. Erwin didn’t regret anything. Even when he touched his own eye and felt the pain there. He felt like grinning when the principal chewed them out, but he sat there, expressionless. He was let go with a Friday detention. The other guy had gotten in trouble before. He might be suspended, even expelled.

Levi found him after school, the news having already gotten around to him. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he said, looking at Erwin’s swelling eye. “I heard you fucked the other guy up.”

“I did,” Erwin said, for the first time feeling a little embarrassed about all this.

“Don’t do that again,” Levi said. “It’s unbecoming of you.”

“You sound like my father.” And then it dawned on him that his father had probably already been contacted. “Fuck.”

Levi smirked. “Papa Smith’s not gonna be proud.”

“No,” Erwin said, putting a hand to his mouth. “Not at all.”

But when he got home all his father said was, “That’s quite a shiner. I hear the other boy really had it coming.”

“Yeah, he did,” Erwin said, a little more than shocked.

He went to bed that night after reading some texts from Levi.

Levi: ur a fucking idiot man

Levi: but ur like

Levi: my idiot

Levi: goodnight

He went to sleep feeling all at once like he had all the luck in the world. Being Levi’s idiot? He was more than happy to fill that role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun. Lots of heavy stuff tho. Before I forget thanks to tumblr user careruri for looking over Erwin's and Papa Smith's coming out conversation. I was worried about it. Thank you, care!
> 
> I've been listening to Joe Hisaishi radio on Spotify this chapter. It's 11:28 PM. A prime writing time. I think I wanna stay up maybe until dawn just writing fanfic and going insane. Honestly I have to tell you that Notes will be ending in a few chapters. I looooove this dynamic in this fic and I will be sad to have it end. But my next project is gonna be a reincarnation AU that should be a ton of fun. I'm really looking forward to it.
> 
> Okay, well. Remember to be happy everyday and drink lots of water. <3 Show others some love and do something you enjoy. Take good care of yourself. Maybe don't stay up all night like me? Night night. <3


	12. Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the LAST chapter! Hold onto yer butts!

Erwin’s eye was healing up quickly, and he served his detention diligently. He sat there texting Levi behind a book.

Erwin: Leviiiiiii its so boring

Erwin: The teacher is snoring

Erwin: It smells bad in here :(

But Levi wasn’t answering. All that week he had been pretty distant, but never in their history class. It was business as usual there: passing notes and not paying attention to Zackley.

Erwin: Why are you so bad at answering now?

Levi’s answer wasn’t one that Erwin expected.

Levi: im studying idiot

Erwin: I don’t believe

Levi: well I am

Once his detention was over, he went to Levi’s house.

“He’s at the library doing something,” Kenny said.

The library? Maybe he really was studying…

Erwin walked into the library. He hadn’t been there in a while. It was a nice place. Big, with high windows, and two floors. He found Levi upstairs, pouring over his history book.

“What the fuck are you here for?” Levi said, glaring at him, then looked down at his book.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Uh. Fucking studying? Sit down, Adonis.”

“But why are you doing this?” Erwin said quietly. He really did want to know.

Levi shifted anxiously in his chair, still looking at the history book. “You’re going to Sina when you graduate. And, I kinda wanna go there with you. I have all A’s in math and science. Only a few F’s in other shit I don’t care about. I think maybe…we could go together?”

Erwin grinned. “That sounds good to me.”

“You’re not gonna make fun of me?” Levi asked, looking somewhat hopeful.

“Oh, I’m gonna make fun of you all the time, my little bookworm. Are we gonna pay attention in to Zackley now?”

“We just might,” Levi said, irritated. “Do you think I can make it?”

“Into Sina?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. You can get good recommendations from your math teachers, right? That’s the most important thing. And your essay.”

Levi grimaced. “I’m not a good writer, Erwin. Not at all.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Write it for me,” Levi said, completely serious. “I’ll pay you.”

“Well, the ideas in it should be yours. They’ll probably ask about the personal strife you’ve gone through and how you triumphed over it and all that.”

“Personal strife. I have miles of personal strife. This just got easier.”

“See? You’re practically a Sina alum already.”

Levi didn’t laugh. “It’s gonna be hard, Erwin.”

“It’ll be fine. We can study together all the time.”

“I might be annoying. I can’t write essays without bugging Kenny about how everything about English class is absolute bullshit.”

“I can handle it,” Erwin said.

They began studying together right then at the library. Levi kept muttering curses at his history book, causing anxious glances from the people around him. Erwin had to tell him to keep the swearing to a minimum.

“I’ll say what I damn well fucking please,” Levi growled.

“Fine,” Erwin said, resigning himself to being hated by the people studying around them.

They were sitting at a table across from one another, Erwin studying his own history book. Levi reached for his hand without looking and they locked their hands together, Levi idly stroking Erwin’s with his thumb. Erwin could stay in this moment forever. As boring as his textbook was, Erwin didn’t want Levi’s touch on his palm to go away.

 

The weather got warmer in the coming weeks. The two fell into an easy routine of studying together. Levi would often stretch out on Erwin’s bed, looking through his notes, and Erwin would sit at his desk. When the sun was setting, they’d sometimes sit on Erwin’s roof and watch. Levi got A’s and B’s and occasional C’s on tests in his more difficult classes, which satisfied him to some extent.

“My English teacher wants to write me a letter of recommendation because of how hard I’m trying,” Levi said one evening.

“That’s good,” Erwin said. “Maybe it’s good to get recs from all kinds of classes.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna be really pissed if we don’t go to Sina together.”

“Are you worried?”

“I am,” Levi admitted. “I have more F’s than I’ve let on. Some of them from fall semester. This is kind of a longshot, Erwin.”

“Well, we’re gonna make sure your essay is really tight, we’re almost done with it, and that should score you some points. And the interviews went well. Plus they’re letting you send in midterm grades for this semester and those are gonna be really good.”

“Yeah…” Levi said dubiously. “I don’t know.”

“Anyway you can apply to other schools around here. We wouldn’t be far from each other.”

“Shitty schools,” Levi said scornfully.

“Nah,” Erwin said.

“How can you be so calm about this?”

“I’m just looking at this logically,” Erwin said.

“Then you’ll see Sina will never take me.”

“Are we fighting? Why are we fighting?”

“You don’t have to worry about anything. You’re smart. You’ve got A’s coming out of your ass. You’re rich enough that you can afford Sina no fucking problem. And Sina’s gonna hate me.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have gone around all these years failing classes and punching cops.”

Erwin immediately regretted it. He saw Levi’s mouth fall open. Then Levi squinted at him, gearing up to say something back.

“What did you just say to me?” Levi asked calmly.

“I’m sorry. That was out of line,” Erwin said hastily. “I’m really—“

“Fuck your apologies. Everyone and their uncle knows I fucked up a cop but no one asks why. They assume I was drunk or high or doing some illegal shit. You know what really happened? I was driving with Farlan and Isabel. Speeding, if we wanna be all honesty hour about this. This prick pulled us over and made us all get out of the car. He frisks us. Spends extra _extra_ time on Isabel. You get what I’m saying? He made her cry. And that girl doesn’t fucking cry. So I decked him. Had to go to court and everything, but they let me off when they heard what the asshole was doing. Idiot caught it all on his dash cam. So fuck _you,_ Erwin. You make the shitty assumptions that everyone else does. You’re no fucking different.”

“Are you okay?”

Levi huffed. “Fuck off, man.”

“Okay.”

Levi was sitting up on the bed, hunched with his arms crossed. He glared off at nothing for a while. Erwin went to sit next to him. Levi turned his head away. Erwin put his arm around him, and Levi was soon leaning into his touch.

“I’m really sorry,” Erwin said. “At least you’re not _really_ a felon after all that.”

“Yeah. Then I’d be screwed. Like…permanently.”

“Right. What do you say we stop studying for the night?”

“Okay. I think tomorrow’s English test will go wrong no matter what I do.”

“You’re doing fine in English,” Erwin comforted.

“I’ve never gotten above a C in my English classes. Ever.”

“You will now.”

“But what if I don’t?”

“I don’t know, Levi. Maybe cry about it?” Erwin said, exasperated.

Levi grunted. “Why do you put up with me?”

“Don’t know,” Erwin said and kissed him on top of his head. “I guess it’s all your infectious charm. It just gets to me.”

Levi stared at him, then began smiling.

“What?” Erwin said, almost uncomfortable.

“Oh my God,” Levi said. “You have a crush on me.”

“What? No! Come on.”

“You totally _do.”_

“Stop this,” Erwin laughed.

“You imagine doing things to me, don’t you?”

“Okay. No,” Erwin said, but then Levi began tickling him, and Erwin was nothing if not ticklish. He fell on his back, laughing through the torture, and Levi straddled him. They froze then, Levi’s mouth so close to Erwin’s. He waited for a kiss that didn’t come. Levi got off him and walked to the window.

“We’re really lucky we found each other, you know?”

“I know,” Erwin said, surprised by the sudden shift in mood.

“I just,” Levi said. “I don’t want to lose you if I can’t get into Sina. I want to take more classes with you. I want to be with you as much as possible. Forever. That’s all.”

_Forever. That’s all._ Erwin was impressed by those words, by the casualness of that longing trying to hide something bigger.

When Erwin didn’t answer, Levi turned to him, a serious look on his face.

“I—“ Erwin began.

“I love you,” Levi said. “I just…I love you.” He was on the verge of tears, biting his lip and staring at the ground, his fists clenched. Erwin thought he saw him shaking. Erwin went to him, holding him in his arms. “Maybe it’s too early to say but…”

“It’s okay,” Erwin said. “I love you too. I mean that.”

Levi broke into a sob. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Fucking ever. My mom abandoned me, you know? My father abandoned her first. But my own mother didn’t want me. Left me. You don’t know what it’s like, knowing that.”

“No, I don’t. For what it’s worth, I think you turned out pretty great,” Erwin soothed.

“I’m a fucking tragedy.”

Erwin chuckled. “I think you’re pretty funny, actually.”

“A fucking mess.”

“That’s right, you are. A fucking train wreck. I can’t look away. I don’t want to.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m _your_ idiot.”

“Shut your mouth.”

“Okay. Okay.”

 

In April, on a Saturday morning, Levi banged on Erwin’s window. Erwin got out of bed and rushed to the window, letting him in.

“What’s wrong? Why are you on the roof?”

“This letter’s wrong. The roof’s faster.”

“A letter?”

“Look how thin it is. I’m not getting in.”

It was a letter from Sina University and it _was_ pretty thin. Not a good sign at all.

“Okay,” Erwin said slowly. “But what does it say inside?”

“I don’t fucking know. I wanted to be with you when my life shattered into pieces.”

“Just open it,” Erwin said.

“No,” Levi said.

“Come on.”

“You open it.” Erwin rolled his eyes and let Levi place the envelope in his hand. He tore it open and gazed at the print. _Dear Levi Ackerman…_

“Oh,” Erwin said. “You got in.”

“What? What the fuck, Erwin?” Levi said.

“You got in!”

“I got in?” Levi snatched away the letter and looked. “I got fucking _in!_ ”

“Told you.”

“Check your mailbox.”

“I don’t think I got in.”

“Shut your mouth. Go.” He pointed to the window.

“I’m using stairs and doors, thanks,” Erwin said dryly.

“Wimp.”

“Whatever.”

Erwin went down to get his letter and had it opened by the time he got back up.

“Read it for me,” he said to Levi.

“Surprising,” Levi said after a glance. “You’re in too.”

“We need to go celebrate.”

“Let’s get trashed.”

“No,” Erwin pointed at him. “No.”

“Fine.”

“I love you,” Erwin said placatingly.

“I said fine.”

“I still love you.”

“Fine.”

 

Erwin graduated in the top ten, with Levi in the bottom half of the class.

“I probably have the lowest high school GPA in all of Sina,” Levi said to him later, obviously proud of himself.

They celebrated on graduation night with all their friends, driving down to the lake and building a huge bonfire out of the driftwood. Erwin saw Levi’s profile as he stared at the fire. He was smiling, taking a pull from his beer, and he had no idea how beautiful he was. _But I know,_ Erwin thought. _And I can tell him._ _Any time I want._ But for now…he just drank Levi in and clutched at the ring in his pocket. _This is just fine as it is,_ Erwin thought. _I can wait._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ring headcanons. Erwin waits a long fucking time lol because they haven't known each other that long, but he carries it with him always. Sometimes Levi does his laundry and finds the ring in the box and just places it on his desk. They never speak of it lol but they're both v excited.
> 
> Thanks for the wild ride, you guys. I will read and cherish your comments. Have a fantastic day. Look out for my upcoming Eruri reincarnation AU! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Wooooo! This started as a little fic on tumblr, but is quickly becoming more as multiple people asked for the party scene. Here you go.
> 
> Tumblr is erurink.tumblr.com
> 
> Writing only tumblr is erurink-is-writing.tumblr.com


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